Tanner Tolbert’s wife may have only just given birth to their second child a month ago but that hasn’t stopped him from calling her out for not having enough sex with him post-baby.
US reality TV stars Tanner and Jade Roper, met on Bachelor in Paradise and welcomed son Brooks last month.
On her Instagram Jade has described the birth as traumatic, with the reality star giving birth in just 75 minutes after going into labour in her walk-in wardrobe.
Speaking on podcast The Viall Files, Tanner acknowledged that while Jade’s focus “should be on the kids, not me,” he feels on “the back burner” — yes really, that’s what he said.
“It took a dive (when Jade started nursing first child Emmy) and then pretty much right after the breastfeeding stopped, we got pregnant again with Brooks,” he told podcast host and US Bachelor star Nick Viall.
“And now he’s here and we have two kids. It is tough. I feel like I’ve begged for it. And I don’t want to feel selfish — I hate asking, I hate trying, because I don’t want it to be pity sex.”
Tanner added that their relationship had “changed completely” since giving birth, with Jade wanting to get intimate less while he wants more sex.
Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long for Tanner’s comments to get a reaction on social media:
According to Family Planning NSW it’s recommended women wait “between four and six weeks to resume penetrative sex” after giving birth.
“That’s with lots of considerations, and depends on what kind of delivery the mother had … if she had tears, if she’s uncomfortable and if she’s breastfeeding — which can cause vaginal dryness and discomfort — among other things,” the organisation’s medical director Dr Deborah Bates told body+soul.
“There are wide variations — and the most important thing is that a woman is setting her own timeline. Some women take weeks, some take months, and some take even longer — there are no hard and fast rules, so it’s best to consult a healthcare practitioner to find out what is right for your unique circumstance.”
In an Instagram post, Jade described her surprise home birth as “one of the scariest moments of my life”.
“I’ve been still processing the shock of this all, as this was not all at what I had planned … I felt so out of control, but Tanner, Tanner’s mom, my mom and the medics and firefighters kept me going when I felt like the world was caving in on me and my unborn baby,” she wrote.
In another post, Jade shared a photo of herself one week after giving birth, writing in the caption that she was “slowly healing” after her “overwhelming labour and delivery”.
“It’s taking my uterus more time to return to its normal state this time around, but honestly I have never loved my body more than I have this post-partum,” she wrote.
“A lot of you have asked about my recovery, and I received several stitches and am slowly healing physically — the mental and emotional healing is hard to put a finger on, but I am giving myself grace to process everything.”